Get the Skinny

I don't know about most women, but I go through phases of not caring about looking my best or having the trendy clothes and actually wanting to dress up.  Right now, I'm coming out of a phase of not really caring and wanting to wear dresses and boots.

In the past 10 years, I've put on some weight, and I am sometimes self-conscious about how I look.  So, when I ordered a new pair of knee-high boots the other week, I also realized that my baggy flare and bootcut jeans were not going to cut it for optimal cuteness.  But skinny jeans?  Really?  Surely I won't look good in something labeled "skinny" that will cling to my body.

Well, I was wrong.

I bought two different pair of skinny jeans, one with a little more stretch than the other, and I love them both!  They are not skin tight showing all my goodies, but they are not baggy (and they will fit inside my boots and work with legwarmers!).  Yes, I also bought leg warmers.  No, it is not 1984. 

I think I got used to hiding behind clothes that mask my true figure when I don't fit inside the box that society thinks is beautiful.  I feel my curves are beautiful, and I'm glad I stepped outside the box and tried wearing something that I thought I couldn't pull off because I wasn't stick thin.  Yay.

So, I'm ready to step out in my skinny jeans, leg warmers and boots!  Who knows, I might even get a haircut and wear makeup.  {GASP!}

Calm, Cool, & Collected

This weekend I was thrown into a conflict that I wasn't expecting, and it took all of my strength to stay level-headed and not scream.

You may know that I create one of a kind rosaries and religious jewelry.  You may also know I sell these items at local craft shows and on Etsy.

Well, I had my first customer complaint this week on Etsy.  It was bound to happen sooner or later.  I'm not afraid of negative feedback...things happen.  The situation was a bit weird to begin with, so it shouldn't have surprised me that it quickly escalated.   

First, my storefront clearly states my business hours are Saturday only.  Yes, inconvenient for some, but I have to limit it for my own sanity due to other responsibilities.  It is my business, after all.  So, after a conversation last Saturday via messaging with my customer, I was shocked to find she had sent me about 20 messages during the week, virtually screaming at me about not responding to her emails.  She often sent me hourly messages.  Not normal.

Then, the package I sent was returned to me saying the address was undeliverable.  Okay, weird, but maybe I wrote the address incorrectly.  Nope, it was correct.

At this point, I feel like something fishy is going on.  The customer is basically harassing me via Etsy messaging, actually it was more like cyber bullying, and accusing me of lying - saying I never mailed the package.  Okay.........

I get all these messages yesterday (Saturday, during business hours) and try to respond to her requests.  I had the merchandise returned, so I said I would gladly refund her money.  I did that within an hour of receiving her emails.  Problem solved, right?  Nope.

Up to this point, I've been annoyed and felt a little harassed, but I kept it professional, just stating the facts and being polite...with a lot of prayer.

THEN, the customer continues to send me emails (in all caps, which is one of my pet peeves!!!) stating she is going to report me to the better business bureau and attorney general's office in EVERY state in the country and report me for internet fraud.  What?

Her emails on Saturday were coming every 10 minutes or so with repetitive, threatening language.  She noticed that I left her negative feedback on the etsy site (duh), and threatened me again.  I stated the truth, that is all I could do.

I remained professional and stated the facts, even though there were definite times that I wanted to type "psycho" in the subject line of my next message to her.  I have stopped correspondence, as there is nothing else I can do for this person.  There is just something "not right" with this situation.

This situation really upset me.  No one likes being called a liar, but threatening me over the internet is not something I've really dealt with before, thank goodness!  So, how did I get through this?  First, I used my perceptive therapy super powers to recognize this was not a normal response to online business correspondence.  I couldn't even imagine myself acting the way this customer was acting.  Next, I knew that if I added anything snarky or negative to my conversations with her, it would just be fuel for her fire.  I told myself to suck it up and lift it up.  I took a deep breath, said many small prayers, and just ate it.  Sometimes, you have to just let things go to keep yourself safe and sane.  Also, I don't know what this person is capable of!  I would prefer it if unstable people were not upset with me.

I suppose I could use the chaplet she attempted to purchase to pray for her.  Sigh.  St. Joan of Arc, pray for us!

Minus the Meat

When I do my weekly meal planning, I try to have at least one meal each week without meat.  Why?  To be a little frugal.  But, I'm considering changing it to a "meatless Friday" situation instead of a random day each week.  You are probably asking yourself, again, "WHY?!!"  "Don't you like meat?"  Yes, I like meat, crazy.

But, did you know that the Catholic Church still recommends that the faithful abstain from meat on all Fridays throughout the year?  That's right.  Every Friday.

Most people stopped this practice after the Second Vatican Council in the 1960's.  At that point, the Church no longer "required" the faithful to practice this, but it is still "recommended."  Semantics issue, anyone?  The church "recommends" that if you don't abstain from meat on Fridays, you should still do some other form of penance.  Yep.

Personally, eating a cheese pizza on a Friday doesn't always seem like a form of "penance."  But, if I'm craving a ginormous chunk of loafy meat, then I'm in sacrifice city.  For me, I think the purpose in resurrecting this practice is for me to think about Jesus and His sacrifice a little more throughout the week, even if it is just on days I meal plan and Fridays.

I challenge you to think of a penance to do on Fridays.  It can only bring about more good in your life!

The Inconvenient Slice

Today, I was craving some pizza delivery.  It's been a stressful week to say the least, and I just wanted some bad-for-me-Hawaiian pizza pie.  So, I get online and order delivery from Domino's like usual.  Then, the cell phone rings.  Yep, it's Domino's.

Me:  Hello.
DP:  Hi, is this Mary?
Me: Yes.
DP:  I'm sorry, but delivery service is not available at the moment.  My driver didn't show up for work.  Can you come and do a carryout.
Me:  [audible sigh].  Yes.  How long?
DP:  25-30 minutes.
Click.

So, I put on some non-pajama clothes and drive up the street.  I get to the shop and there is a Domino's pizza guy standing awkwardly outside the store.  I go to open the door and it's locked.

DPG:  Yeah, my boss locked me out.  He went to do a delivery and locked me out because I was late.
Me:  Oh.

What?

Enter 3 long minutes of awkward waiting outside the shop with the DPG.  Boss returns, and both employees are just in a horrible mood.

Manager:  Sorry Ma'am, but I haven't made your food yet.  Do you mind waiting a little longer?  I'll give you your order for free.
Me:  Okay.

So, I'm sitting there quietly waiting and sitting watching these two young men in anger and frustration make my food.  I could have been irate because I had to drag my butt to Domino's or because I had to wait even longer for my pizza to be made.  YET, the first thing I feel like doing is praying.  I think it will help them and what the heck else am I doing but sitting there like an awkward fool.  So, I pray.  I ask St. Therese to pray for them as well and I start praying to convert their souls.  I continue to say things like I wanted their souls to experience peace and love and it was a true moment.

When I left, the poor guy who was late gave me my order.  I smiled and told him I hoped his day gets better.  I also said (like a crazy therapist) that he could make the choice this very moment to start the day over and make it count.  He smiled back (probably shaking his head at the crazy lady), and I hope it made a difference.

The best thing that happened to me today was inconvenience.  The best thing that happened to me today was that Domino's wasn't able to deliver my pizza.  The best thing that happened to me today was that I could pray for strangers, and I adored it.

Make the best of every situation.

I've Got Rhythm

Guess what, peeps!  That's right, it's NFP Week, and I'm going to write about it.

Being a convert and a single woman somewhere in her 30's, I get a lot of questions about Catholicism and the single life from Catholic and non-Catholic friends alike.  Nothing gets me the loving title of "crazy Catholic" more than the discussion of birth control and natural family planning.

Look at the lovely anonymous woman in the picture above.  She looks pretty carefree and happy, doesn't she?  It's probably because she isn't using artificial birth control!

Does that seem a bit extreme?  Well, I think using birth control is extreme.  I giggle at the absurdity of women who take such care to buy organic produce and drink filtered water yet pump artificial chemicals and hormones into their bodies every day in the form of BC.  If you are one of those women, please take a step back and get some perspective.

Before I researched the subject of NFP, I thought it was merely "the rhythm method."  I never thought counting days would actually help someone conceive or postpone pregnancy.  But it's so much more than that!  And that's why I keep track of my cycle.

Yes, TMI alert, people.

One of the main things I don't understand is why we, women, treat fertility as a disease and something to inhibit.  Then, we all freak out when we have infertility problems and push more chemical and artificial means into our bodies in order to try to jump-start the baby making system that we have suppressed for so long while on birth control.  It really drives me crazy, and I'm always astonished when women are surprised that they are having problems conceiving when they have been on birth control for years that messed up their cycle.  Is it really a surprise?

First, I need to give mad props to one of my favorite blogs, Naturally Knocked Up.  Please check out the post on the basics of NFP from a non-religious viewpoint.  And no, I'm not trying to get "knocked up" at the moment, but I love knowing how my body works.  Seriously, read it.  It's great info.

Reasons I started using/now like using NFP as a single woman:

1. I wanted to know exactly when I was going to have my period.  Let's be honest...being surprised every month isn't exactly the best present ever.  I had always guesstimated, but now I know for sure.
2. I have a ginormous amount of breast cancer and ovarian cancer in my family history, and I wanted to be on top of things.  I think NFP can help me spot a change in patterns that could catch a problem early.  I'm not sure that being on BC would allow for natural symptoms to emerge and allow for quick detection.
3. I want to be ready for -if or when- I am blessed with marriage.  There is so much to be learning when you marry your spouse...why put so much pressure on yourself to learn how your body works as well?  Get that done now.  And then you can just worry about teaching your lucky spouse!
4. I can help my married friends and support them.  I know what my friends are talking about with cycles and fertility, and often I feel I'm more knowledgeable than they are.
5. I understand my emotions more.  I know what days I'm susceptible to emotional swings, and I can prepare myself to cope with them better.  This helps with friendships, relationships, and at work.
6. I can avoid temptation with the opposite sex better.  God made our bodies to crave sexual relations (dare I use the word horny?) when we are fertile.  If I'm on a date and feeling revved up, I can plan our time together accordingly (perhaps a public situation would be better than at home watching a movie on the couch in the candlelight...) and avoid the confessional.
7. Overall, I feel in more control of my body.

Personally, I use the iPeriod app on my iPhone to chart daily things.  I chose this particular program because I knew I needed something easy and convenient.  And, they recently added new categories for tracking, which I adore.  Plus, it's password protected, so if anyone goes snooping on my phone, they can't see my lady info.

Do you use NFP? BC? Single? Married?  Curious?  Comment below!

Poking

God has been poking my soul all summer about how to get involved in the church again.  You know what I'm talking about, right?

Me:  UGH.  What am I going to do with my spare time?
God:  Poke, Poke, Poke...

I have sort been in a holding pattern when it comes to ministry involvement for the past few years.  Part of this game of pause involves full time graduate school.  The other part revolves around getting burned when doing youth ministry...but that's a whole other story that isn't blog-worthy.

So, I've been praying.  A lot.  Wondering how I could possibly fit back into the scheme of things on a local church level.  This summer, I feel like God has moved from poking to shoving.  But, I just wasn't seeing where I was going to plug in.  I didn't feel like youth ministry was really my calling.  I also didn't really feel like I should join a choir, even though I'm an accomplished vocalist and musician.  I just wasn't feeling it.

Then, tonight I got a shove from a friend that I feel was my extra nudge and a half from God.  Yay.

MOTF called me to say that her priest emailed the entire parish desperate for volunteers to help with the children's liturgy and a 6th grade PSR teacher.  I immediately had a huge smile and was super excited about this opportunity!!!  It's at the local parish that I have thought about joining (I'm still a member of the parish in my old neighborhood), and I feel like these two situations are totally up my alley.  In fact, that's why MOTF called me.  She said that she read the email and immediately thought of me and that it was a perfect churchy thing for me.

Had I previously shared my intensive prayer for ministry with this friend?  Nope.

Does this friend usually call me to talk about super awesome Catholic stuff?  Nope.

Does this friend usually encourage me to take on more responsibility when I'm already crazy busy?  Nope.

Yet, she called me about this specific thing, and she encouraged me and hyped up each volunteer opportunity.  In fact, she thought I would be perfect for both situations.

I told MOTF I would ponder each of these things in my heart (just like my name sake, Mary), but I already "knew" that I would be emailing each contact person tonight to give my own yes (fiat).

My heart feels at peace, and I am happy.  They may have already found someone to teach PSR, but I'm almost positive they need people to proclaim the Gospel to the children.  I have my "in," and I'm excited.

God uses MOTF in extraordinary ways in my life, and I am so grateful for her friendship and God using her.  She's the one that brought me to God in the Eucharist in the first place, ya know (read my conversion story at the top of the blog).

I feel like dancing.

"Sing You Home"

Well, I broke down and bought the book, "Sing You Home" by Jodi Picoult.


I was a little leery to purchase it because...


1.  It was fiction.  I typically don't read fiction anymore.  I like learning, so I typically go for work by Saints, Catholic scholars, biographies, and (honestly) theoretical astrophysics.  
2.  It dealt with homosexuality.  Don't get me wrong, I have many a homosexual friend (hello, I'm a musician).  But is that type of storyline going to draw me in?  Probably not.
3.  It dealt with controversial pro-life issues.  I had the feeling that the book was slanted against my viewpoint, so I was apprehensive in spending my leisure time reading it.
4.  The synopsis of the book made the ex-husband "evangelical" seem crazy.  That's never a good sign.  I may not be evangelical, but I've been called crazy in relation to my faith and beliefs.


Why did I want to read it?  The main character is a music therapist, that's why.  That NEVER happens.  Most people have never heard of my profession, let alone has a bestselling author created a novel with a main character that shares my job title.


So, I bought it on sale today.  I read the back cover and cringed.  I read some of the reviews on Amazon and cringed some more.


Sigh.  Some of my colleagues have already asked me if I've read the book.  Many said they picked it up because of the music therapy aspect and want to discuss it with me.  So, I guess I just better read it and develop my own opinion.  Who knows, maybe (doubtful) I'll enjoy it even though it challenges Christian morality with every step.


More to come after the reading...