healing waters

Today is the feast day for Our Lady of Lourdes.  Is it a coincidence that today is also the day I decided for sure that I am going to Europe this summer...to visit Lourdes?  I don't think so.  The movie "Lourdes" that just so happened to be on EWTN when I was looking at the guide.  And even though it wasn't the most well-made flick ever and it was entirely subtitled, I cried and loved it.  I also stumbled up the movie "The Miracle of Our Lady of Fatima" complete on youtube.  Also amazing.  I cried, and I also found out it was nominated for an Oscar back in the day.  Anyway.

Water.

As you know, today was one week on the diet and detoxing from caffeine and soda.  I have only had water and milk in the past week.  It took a while to get used to it, but then I began to crave the water.  Well, today, as a reinforcer, I let myself eat chinese food for dinner with a regular coke.  Bad idea.  I knew I would feel sick, but I guess I just wanted to see if the food tasted as good when I wasn't craving it.  Well, it didn't.  In fact, I think I only ate about a quarter of my order before I was searching the house for a bottle of water.  And now I feel sickly and can't sleep because of the caffeine.  Wonderful.  So, drinking the water is helping to heal my body and make me physically healthier.

If simply drinking normal water can do this for my physically, what can the water of Lourdes do for me spiritually and emotionally (or even physically as well)?  I'm curious to know.





I'm still not sure why I feel like I should go on this pilgrimage.  I didn't even really know much about Fatima or Lourdes before researching it in the past two weeks.  But then again, that is how God works in me sometimes.  He puts something amazing on my heart or kicks me in the head.  But for some reason, I am feeling strongly called to go on this trip in June...and that is why I have decided to go.  Now, if only I could locate my passport...it's around here somewhere!

Although, I don't know why this should surprise me.  My devotion and relationship with Mary the Mother of God has deepened so much in the past year.  She is my spiritual Mother, and I ask her to pray for me more than ever before.  It really began with the women's retreat I went on last year at Our Sorrowful Mother's Ministry in Vandalia, Illinois, last year. 


Something really special happened at that retreat.  I feel that God spoke to me at that place and had two main messages.  The first one was:  fall before the Rosary.  Well, I had never really been that person who prayed the rosary daily.  I'd cycle through doing it for a week a couple times a year.  But here I am, about 10 months later, trying to pray the rosary daily, closer to Mary, and I own a small business designing and creating handmade rosaries!  I would have never guessed that in my wildest dreams!  And now I'm going to visit two of the most important Marian sites in the world?  What great plans does God have in store for me?  Why me?  Why such a little soul?  Who am I to even speak of Holy?  I'm just me.

2010 Motto

Some people might think I'm weird. So be it. But sometimes I like to come up with mottoes for myself. I finally decided on my motto for 2010:

Live your life, not your job.

If you look at my track record the past couple of years, you would agree that this statement is not a reflection of my life. For the longest time, I thought my job was my life. Wrong. My job is my job. It is an important part of who I strive to be professionally and who I help with my gifts and education. But it should not be my life nor is it who I am.

So...about living my life. My precious life that God has provided me with for a time on earth should be lived to the fullest. Often, I don't listen to that voice, deep down, that tells me what I truly want to do with my spare time and dollars. Well, I'm considering changing that this year.

Remember in a previous post I spoke about making dating and relationships a priority? Well, I spoke with MOTF about it last night. I told her I didn't want to come off desperate, but that if I want to get married, I should keep that at the top of my to-do list. She all but told me "Finally!" Why the heck didn't she say something sooner?! So, yay.

I haven't been anywhere utterly amazing on a trip since November 1998. That's a while ago, folks! I visited Vienna, Austria, with my family and church choir. It was a wonderful experience. Here's my family in front of the town hall in the midst of the Christmas Market. Each window of the building becomes part of the Advent Calendar...pretty neat!

I really have a longing to visit the holy places of the world and soak in different cultures and scenery. I had thought about visiting family and friends this summer in the western part of the United States, but I'm considering changing my mind. I received this weekend the itinerary for my Aunt and Uncle in Colorado for the rest of the year. They are basically traveling the entire year, but maybe 20 days at home, total, for the entire summer. That probably won't work out... Then my darling sister calls me saying she wants to vacation with me this summer. Cool! I need a road trip buddy. I would prefer a boyfriend for the journey, but sisterly love is awesome, too! The snag: she wants to go to the beach...preferable Florida to visit my Aunt in Ft. Myers. Well, that would be fun, too. I suggested we take a trip to St. Augustine and Key West as well, but she didn't seem too thrilled with that. But those things seem a little "blah" still to me.

So I started thinking to myself, where do I really want to go? I knew the answer immediately. I have been longing to go on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land or Italy for a long time. Really, anywhere that has wonderfully holy places to visit with a spiritual edge along the journey is what I crave. So, I knew my friend Matthew had gone with OSMM to the Holy Land and had positive experiences. I went on retreat with OSMM last March - had an amazing time. So I got on the website...and my hopes were crushed. Just as I thought...the Holy Land trip is always the first 2 weeks of December - a time I probably cannot take off work if I want to keep my job. But to my amazement, there was a summer trip opportunity: Portugal, Spain, and France. It fits in my timeline for work, and it hits some amazing holy places with a priest as our main guide. It seems perfect. It also seems expensive, but when I look at my funds, I have the moolah for it.

I feel like I should just DO IT! How amazing would it be to visit Avila, Lourdes, Fatima, etc.... I'm sure it would be life changing and draw me closer to the Lord, which is the goal of any day.

I should just go. The fear of the unknown is holding me back, but I should just go.

Live life, not my job!